I actually didn't write this...
Okay, I am kidding, but it got your attention. I started writing this entry titled, “I’d be a fool to go back,” by gathering inspiration from a Facebook memory where I shared about not wanting to show up today. Except for today, I didn’t struggle to show up—I’m more decided than ever—I’m struggling with doubt.
It’s wild. I’ve attempted to write this for the last three days. The silent whispers of “not enough” are nibbling away in the distance. This feeling of doubt, inadequacy, and shame come rushing in as I continue to take steps in obedience to develop my business further and share what I know in the world of business, design, marketing, and technology.
Fun fact: I’m a tech geek! I’m intrigued by all the latest software development. I notice whenever a program updates user interfaces, even at a minor level. I grew up with a computer in my room and creativity in my back pocket. The devices are excellent, but the applications are better.
I started designing at the age of twelve. I considered becoming a lawyer, software developer, and actress before choosing graphic design as my career. Becoming a lawyer is off the list, but everything else is still up for grabs.
In writing this, I have decided to be at peace with becoming the fullness of EVERYTHING God intends for me. Even if the world wants to mold me into a palatable box—gone are the days of despising my multi-potentiality.
✿ What talents or traits are you not showing due to fear or doubt?
I’m no stranger to sharing the knowledge God’s given me—not as a teacher—but as a lifelong student wanting all my peers (you) to be up on game with the latest and greatest happenings in technology, marketing, design, and of course, doing life with Jesus. If we locked in, ain’t no switching up.
Yet, to put my peers on game means I have to come out of hiding. I have to stop flirting with the background and stand, in the front, using my voice. It’s not the visibility that bothers me. It’s the persecution that will come, not from strangers but from those who claim to be on the same home team as me.
Chile, then my faith-side conflicts with these world systems. I’m not going to tell you to post three times a day. I’m going to ask you to get in the presence of the Lord, seek him, and respond to his response. Being an influencer is popular, but wealth isn't everything. God knows our future and our purpose. For many of us, influencing won't look like a curated Instagram feed with funnels, email welcome sequences, and affiliate links.
It may look different than popular—like making a significant impact without recognition. You may only help others behind the scenes, and that’s okay!
God is the only proof you need in a world of likes and social proof.
This is a BECAUSE OF GOD season.
What is going to happen will only be BECAUSE OF GOD!
Enjoy it.
Allow joy to be your share and peace.
The tears sown will reap.
It’s taken three days to write because God revealed the thread in pieces. Yesterday, Stephen Chestnut posted, "prayer is NOT a marketing strategy, but a place to negotiate the future."
I know the idea of Jesus is cute, but most people don’t want to die alongside him. Prayer is not a place to promote yourself but to shape the future. It’s a place of continual habitation, forever postured at God’s feet.
God says, “28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30).”
✿ Would you believe me if I told you I just wrote my way free? Writing helps me heal.
In summary, technological advancements will NEVER be able to replace the authenticity of a human. There is something about a “God-inspired” thought that machine learning can not replicate. God transcends everything. When engrafted into him, you’ll always be one step ahead.
✿ I’m using AI to help streamline processes but not write these digital journal entries. I'm hosting a live discussion on using artificial intelligence while keeping our voice authentic (past event). It's called "Authentically Intelligent" Join me as we talk about the tools I use to improve my writing (which is what doubt is holding me back from).
Your accountability partner,
Janae Carlee
P.S. If you need a new paper journal to start documenting your journey, my keep going journals are now available.