I feel...it's unconventional. But it's the truth. I struggle too.

In February, I stepped away from social media to take a break behind the scenes. From 2018 until February of 2023, I have been failing evolving and building—publicly.

Similar to the natural cycle of the four seasons, we also experience seasonal changes in our lives. From December to March, I tend to become less active online, although still posting occasionally. My inner self often grapples with conflicting feelings of transformation. The Lord told me to make peace with being a woman of transition.

As the months advance from April to August, I feel an increasing momentum and a clearer sense of direction. However, the period from September to November can be challenging for me emotionally. Almost debilitating.

I am glad to say that I recognize my strengths as well as areas that need improvement. That is why I have sought the assistance of a mental health therapist to guide me to develop effective coping strategies. Adhering to the teachings of the Lord, I have learned to accept transitions by acknowledging my limitations and seeking help when necessary. It all begins with identifying the season of life that we are in.

✿ Have you recognized the season you are in?

As I pen these musings, God is bringing my various talents into a single focus. I have struggled with indecisiveness, finding myself drawn to pursue various interests, even disdaining the talents God’s blessed me with. My indecisiveness revealed that there were many layers to uncover, beyond what I could settle for.

✿ At times, it can be difficult to perceive what you truly possess in your grasp. What might you be clutching onto, concealing, or suppressing?

I am no stranger to risk—mentally, physically, financially, and emotionally.

I grew up in a home that fostered big dreams and discouraged the notion of impossibility. God had the final say. If it didn’t happen, it’s because his NO is my protection or redirection. I believe God’s timing is the ticket to achieving success (success is defined as contentment and joy in the process of becoming). However, when you are proficient in multiple areas, it’s challenging to narrow down your focus during the discovery phase.

That is why I,

• published poetry books,

• started and stopped online blogging,

• enrolled in various courses,

• created a podcast,

• launched a lifestyle brand,

• released various t-shirts collections,

• created accountability journals,

• started a text message community,

• tried to move to Charlotte for two months,

• become a YouTuber,

• launched an LLC’d design agency,

• hosted 4 worship and poetry nights,

• serve in multiple capacities at church,

• found my way on tik tok,

• trademarked my lifestyle brand naked and exposed®

• launched brands,

• built many websites,

• recorded videos,

• took photos,

• started coding,

• applied to MIT,

• moved to Texas to go to law school,

• enrolled in an acting class at the local community college,

• hired a vocal coach for singing,

• and write.

While my recollection may not be exhaustive, it is possible that I have forgotten some of the risks taken over the years. I've noticed a recurring theme in my interests—design, and writing always seem to be at the forefront.

Somewhere in the midst of all things that caught my attention, and what God revealed about me, I lost sight of what God said. For this reason, from December to March, I tend to become less active online, although still posting occasionally. My inner self often grapples with conflicting feelings of transformation.

I entered into silence for the sole purpose of getting still before God. In this place, building hits differently when you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. In the quiet moments of self-reflection, we can find growth in the inward parts of ourselves willing to be exposed. We learn a lot in stillness.

The lesson: If God’s not in it, it’s pointless.

✿ Meditate on Psalms 127:1-2 this week.

Focus on the unless the Lord, it’s useless. May our toiling not be in vain and become more sensitive to God’s leading. He is bringing you to a place of a single focus. From this vantage point, our vision is much clearer.

It is important to follow God's plan for building. Take the time to recognize what season of life you are in and document your personal growth.

Don't be afraid to take risks, but remember to slow down and focus on what truly matters. When the time is right, all the pieces gathered along the way, start to interlock.

It's crucial to trust in the Lord's timing, as without His guidance and presence, our efforts are futile.

✿ Keep going!

Your accountability partner,
Janae Carlee