I'm breaking up with AI

And a slew of other things

First things first, I am a few weeks shy of having a one-year-old! Huh? What do you mean, I’ve cleaned poopy diapers for almost 365 days? My water just broke.

I.

Kept.

My.

Baby.

Alive.

What a blessing.

This last year has taught me so much about myself that I really don’t care to maintain an online persona. I no longer desire to be well-known or to build this highly sought-after brand.

Most days, I don’t even want to use my voice and consider going off-grid by deleting this blog and creating an anonymous column. I want to hear your stories and dialogue about them, learn, and add wisdom to this ongoing climb of life as we both walk it out.

In the postpartum pause of stepping back to raise a child, I’ve decided to break up with AI. I was using her too much that it’s stifling my voice and creativity. Now she does help me cook, so I will keep that in my back pocket. And she’s an awesome copyeditor catching typos and gray areas, but to compose sentence structures and thoughts, nah, I’m good, love. I’d rather this sound like a letter from the heart than a beautifully curated editorial.

Honestly, I’m also breaking up with social media for the 50th time. I’ll post when I post. I’d rather write. I am heavily considering focusing my energy on the resurgence of spoken word poetry. I have poems that need to see the light again. I have around 30. It would make for a good low-maintenance series. Poetry is something I enjoy without the pressure to perform because it comes naturally. I miss writing them.

In the midst of planning my girl’s birthday, I discovered the craft side of social media, and oh my, I am loving seeing what people create. I am going to dive into hobbies and find what I enjoy on this side of motherhood and the beginning of my 30s. I really don’t know what life looks like outside of what I was trying to build through design. I need something to do with my hands that does not involve a computer or phone screen.

Speaking of design, I am helping a friend as he prepares for the sixth annual Juneteenth festival in the Apex, NC area, and I’ve been roped into doing a few design tasks. And I must say, designing while being a full-time mom is crazy work and has really shown me that I would be content if I didn’t design another event graphic ever again. I don’t think I am going back to work as a designer. I am looking into something else. Maybe fitness? Ghostwriting? Anything else but design and brand-building. Oh my, how things have changed.

If you're in the area, you should come out. There will be food, vendors, exhibits, and performers.

But back to AI. I wrote a piece a few months back titled "Please let your originality shine" (read it because I know you didn’t, and you need some encouragement to be authentically you). I am realizing, as I navigate the muddy writing streets, that everyone sounds the same.

AI is the problem.

She can be a beautiful tool, but her writing style is predictable. She likes to sneak in “quiet” and use “it’s not this, it’s that” statements. Yuck. We all sound the same, and I don’t like that.

I want to sound like me.

And I relied heavily on her guidance, which started to give me a headache, so we’re breaking up.

Where does that leave us?

Back to my choppy sentence structures and to sounding like we’re besties again as I navigate the tension of showing up anyway through life changes and decision-making.

I am in the thick of planning my little bean burrito’s first birthday party. I have never thrown a party, decorated, and provided food by myself before.

Who am I?

An adult?

When did I become an adult?

This is next level, and I am trying not to stress myself out. I am reminding myself that this is fun. It’s supposed to be fun. I’m currently making her felt crown and birthday banner, and I'm looking at DIY grazing spreads because the quotes are humbling. I shall do this, and it shall be memorable for us at least because she won’t remember the details, but she will experience the love and know that we’re going to make each milestone the best one yet.

Current mood board with the items I have acquired thus far, minus the cake, felt crown, birthday banner, and I am sure something else.

AI has helped me find the gaps in what I am missing for her party. But using it to write outside of my cooking and copyeditor bestie catching the typos, we're good. I'm good, and I can feel my brain healing.

How are you adapting to AI and setting up boundaries to protect your authenticity?

With intention,

Janae Carlee