Let the mundane become your bestfriend

You could spend your entire life comparing it to everything else and never find contentment where you are. As you doom scroll highlight reels, you’ll find yourself never measuring up—constantly fine-tuning your life to fit in.

But the truth is, fitting in was never the tea.

Being authentically you is where it’s at.

In the mundane.

The nothingness of everyday.

It’s in the unexpected. The this isn’t what I envisioned for my life.

It’s in the willingness to show up each day, repeating the same steps as the day before—but today, adding one new step. A little razzle-dazzle to move in the direction you desire. A desire formed from a relationship with Christ, not social media scrolling.

I’m in a season I did not envision for myself.

Yet I can’t ask God to use me as He sees fit—or desire an intimate relationship with Him—and still hold onto the belief that where I am now isn’t where He wants me. He is the author and finisher of my faith. These middle moments never catch Him by surprise.

Here, in the middle, is where the true growth happens. It’s where we find out our ability to remain.

When nothing is going our way, will we still seek Him? Sit with Him? Serve Him? Show up for those around us without bitterness?

I’m getting to this space. Finally.

I learned this shift during my internship at Elevation Church in 2018. Not I have to—as if it’s an obligation. But I get to. Shifting my stance to: this is a privilege and an honor to…

Raise a child.
Build from home.
Live in a level of predictability for now.

And yet, we see change. That’s inevitable—in our aging parents, our children, us, our environments.

Time passes.

Circumstances change.

Seasons of stillness weren’t as appreciated as they needed to be.

And we find ourselves longing for what was, because we wanted to be everywhere but where we were. It gets better.

It has to get better.

That’s a mindset.
A perspective.
A decision.

Find joy in the now. Lean into the present and experience the daily rhythms of it won’t always be like this, but for now, I will enjoy what this season has to offer—even if I don’t want to. I get to.

Now let’s be real for a second. Just last week, I was offloading to my therapist about expectations around marriage and motherhood.

She reminded me that God is with me and won’t forsake me. Now, that seems like a no-brainer for someone who has a history with God. And by history, I mean notebooks of lived experience where God has moved in ways I can’t fully comprehend or articulate. When He decided to up the levels of the test with marriage and motherhood, everything I thought I learned was compressed.

I know God’s with me, but my heart took a beating from the difficulties that come with transition after transition.

I dissociated.

I love God and struggled to read his word.

Felt left out and behind.

Embarrassed that my ambition ran dry.

Not realizing that the mundane is where the heart transformation is taking place. God’s not intimidated or surprised by what He allows to continue molding our character.

And here’s what I’m learning—motherhood feels easier than marriage. Motherhood is an extension of self. It’s innate. Something I was always destined to express. But marriage? Marriage is the joining of two perspectives, two upbringings, two personalities. It’s a decision. A choice. And choices require a different kind of endurance than what comes naturally.

This isn’t new.

Joseph’s character was purged until the promises of God came to pass (Psalm 105:19). His brothers sold him into slavery after his father openly rebuked him for dreaming. He didn’t know that the very junk in his brothers’ hearts would catapult him into a future that would save their lives.

This was not without false accusations and two years in prison. Though he rose in rank, he still had to walk out the mundane.

The difficulty.

Even when you step into the more, the mundane is always present. It’s not flashy when living in it. Yet it’s the very experience needed to develop character.

If God is the same God yesterday, today, and forevermore, then these lessons don’t stop. They show up in various ways based on how He desires us to be processed.

And it’s messy.

Upsetting.

Honest.

Raw.

Also, full of commentary from people who may never understand.

Parents included.

In it, God teaches surrender and dependence.

It’s up to us to endure.

To see it through.

Even though, honestly, I am tired of that fortitude-endure sequence. Like, miss me with it. But I’m going to obey regardless.

I remind myself daily: I get to. I no longer allow myself to make excuses. I have to give myself grace because life happens. Change is constant. Community changes.

GOD REMAINS THE SAME.

When I look back over my life thus far, God is evident. And my therapist reminded me, when the woes of transition tried to muffle my sound, there is nothing that can separate me from God’s love. Not even my own disappointments. He wants them. All of them. He holds our expectations and exchanges them for grace.

Stop comparing.

When you covet a life, you inherit its problems.

Find solace in where you are.

You get to.

What an honor and a privilege,
Janae Carlee