Sometimes it's just a vehicle

Letting go of what was to embrace what lies ahead

The song I am listening to as I write this essay.

As I reflect on all God has done between His Word and a few of His promises, I can’t help but pause for a moment of gratitude. Instead of focusing on the frustration of swapping one vehicle for the next, I’m choosing to celebrate what was and the lessons I’ve learned.

I’ve been designing since I was 12—wide-eyed and excited about the endless possibilities of graphic design. That passion led me to pursue a bachelor's degree in the field. When people said I’d change my major, I buckled down and saw it through. But by senior year, my excitement for design faded.

At the time, I desperately wanted to become a creative director for ESPN. It wasn’t just a dream—it was a real opportunity. But God was pursuing me heavily. Torn between chasing a career and following God’s lead, I chose Him and a relationship I was in then. Nine months later, the relationship ended, and I was upset with God.

Here’s a side note: too many women sacrifice their callings for men who have no intention of helping them step into all God has for them. Don’t be that woman!

God gently showed me something profound: if I could dream so big outside of a relationship with Him, how much more could I accomplish with Him? It reminded me of the rich young ruler—if he had given up everything to follow Jesus, the ability to gain wealth would have been repurposed for the Kingdom.

I’ve learned that God uses experiences and skills as vehicles to bring us closer to Him and where He’s calling us. During college and beyond, I had the choice to follow His path or forge my own. Looking back, I’m thankful I didn’t take the opportunity in San Francisco. At the time, I wasn’t anchored in my faith. Who knows what I would’ve had to walk through 2,000+ miles from home.

My relationship with design has been a rollercoaster.

I’ve picked it up and put it down so many times. But through it all, God has revealed more about me. My identity had become tied to design, but God reminded me that I am so much more than what I do.

We are first and foremost children of God. Everything else—skills, titles, callings—are tools He uses to shape us. The finish line isn’t the goal. The becoming is.

It’s never been just about design—or whatever skill or title you identify with. It’s always been about God’s plan and the journey He takes us on to fulfill it.

I can even see it in my old journals.

God revealed to me that design was simply a vehicle to get me to where I needed to be. It’s no coincidence that when my car’s transmission blew at the beginning of 2024, it symbolized the end of this particular vehicle of design. Thankfully, I inherited another vehicle as a gift—just as God is providing a new direction for my journey.

In the Bible, vehicles symbolize ministry. Before my car’s transmission failed, I kept having visions of driving trucks and buses. God was showing me that my ministry is in transition.

That transition means stepping away from designing on the client side. It’s bittersweet, but I know it’s served its purpose. After eight years of slowly letting go, I’m ready to pivot toward teaching design and content strategy. I find joy in helping others elevate their skill sets and reflect on who God says they are—without the pressure to perform or seek validation.

Journaling has been my anchor. It’s how the Lord and I commune. I write everything down—moments, patterns, and revelations—so I can look back and see His hand at work.

God is always speaking.

The question is: are we stewarding what He’s saying?

Get a journal. Be intentional about capturing the moments that stand out. If it comes to mind, write it down.

Be okay with the transition.
Be okay with the vehicle changing.
Be okay.

In due season, you’ll stand on the other side of an answered prayer and see just how far God has brought you.

With love,
Janae Carlee