A time when accountability changed my life

Obedience, transitions, and surrendering

Each day, I’m granted the opportunity to open my eyes by the grace of God—I breathe in reality, then start thumbing through social media, just in case I become an internet sensation during the night, greeting social media before mustering up enough courage to say anything to God.

When I wrote It Hurts to Heal, those writings were my musings during an intense period of my life. A concoction of revelation and breath prayers to become the introduction to my journey to healing and discovery.

Surrender.

Surrender looks like writing through challenges like a fresh break up, parents’ divorce, and perceived rejection and self-doubt with tears and a blank page.

God sent me to a foreign land, Charlotte, North Carolina, as a recent graduate to begin unlearning. I understood it wasn’t good to be alone in brokenness and immaturity during this time. I asked for accountability.

I asked two out of my seven roommates, whom I shared a home with during my internship at Elevation Church, not to allow me to isolate.

I wanted all God had for me—a foresight my present self could not fully comprehend.

To be alone and without accountability was unsafe.

Now, years later, I understand the reality of my climb.

Finding yourself back at the bottom of the mountain, unafraid to climb again, reverberates there is no early gain, only a heavenly destination to obtain.

As long as we have breath, there will be a cycle of unlearning to learn because it hurts to heal.

Our end goal is well done.

As I stand before this mountain, looking up at the peak, knowing I have everything from the last season in my bag. The climb is to venture further than eyes have seen or ears have heard who I will become. The break comes before the through, the cruising before the promise, or the pullback before the launching.

Alone is never the answer.

Isolation always reveals itself, and cycles don't mean sin is prevalent. Sometimes, it means in immaturity, we keep going around the mountain until we get to the place of full maturity to climb or at least speak to it to move.

Sometimes, we wake up and check social media before thanking God, friends leave, family won’t accept our growth, or we have no desire to read the bible.

To endure the healing process, we must accept It hurts to heal, But Healing Does Come.

We can’t afford to isolate, fear, or doubt.

In transitions or healing, there is one path.

It’s tailor-made by God.

Are you ready for your climb?

Your accountability partner,

Janae Carlee