This is for the elder daughters.
This is for the only daughters.
This is for the ones like me with reliability in their bones and compassion in their smiles. The ones who inherited a trait that often backfires. Who watched matriarchs give of themselves at the expense of themselves, all in the name of “If I don’t do it, who else will?”
The ones who feel the unspoken pressure wrapped in the traditions of this is just what we do.
But is it?
Because if you’re anything like me, you see a generational cycle you refuse to carry forward. Boundaries, please.
And yet, it’s not that simple.
It comes with guilt.
It comes with voiced and unvoiced obligations.
It comes with a pressure we don’t want to crumble under and a responsibility we don’t want our children to inherit.
We see hope in our future.
A childhood our daughters won’t have to heal from.
A healthy mother.
One who doesn’t trade her entire life for money, but works enough to support the home without disappearing inside of it.
Life comes at us fast. Most of us are living in the aftermath of decisions our parents made.
We can take responsibility.
We can repent on their behalf.
We can choose to change the direction of this pattern.
To be a giver is beautiful.
To prioritize others until your own body, soul, and spirit suffer because no one ever taught you boundaries is not.
Prioritize your no.
Protect it like it’s going out of style.
Silence shame. Tell it to kick rocks.
And ask God how to navigate the terrain of the eldest and only daughter, one who will redefine what it means to be dependable, with clear, expressed boundaries.
To the daughters rewriting the rules, I see you.
Holding space with you,
Janae Carlee